More cheap flights....

Virgin Australia/Virgin Blue has some great discounts between LA and Brisbane. $1000 or less! I even saw one for less than $800! Such a deal!

Florence Nightingale.....Not

In another life, I am a very patient gracious thoughtful care-giver. Sadly for Jeff, it's not this life.

In case you haven't heard, Jeff came home about 10 days ago (after a long day of drinking with his work buddies, hereafter referred to as the Pernicious Influences) (I may have to get t-shirts for them) limping. Well, more specifically, hopping on one leg. Seems he’d taken a tumble down a few steps at the bar (and by “few” I mean…3) and now could not put any weight on his left leg. None. Every time he tried, his knee collapsed.

He got…a little sympathy from me. (He would have gotten more if it hadn’t occurred after 8 or 9 hours of drinking.) I put ice on it, got him an Ibuprofen, wrapped his knee in an ace bandage, put him to bed. (Do we all recognize our RICE from our first aid?)

Still non-functional the next day. Took him to a 24-hour travel clinic (after running hither and yon around downtown Brisbane for a pair of crutches). Doc said “hmmm, yes, you appear to have injured some ligaments in your knee. Stay off it and come back in 3 days.”

Came back in 3 days. Now his knee has flowered into a large area of spectacular bruising and he still can put zero weight on that leg. Doc is concerned and sends Jeff for an MRI and tells him to return the next day to see what the MRI shows.

The MRI shows that 2 of the 4 ligaments that hold your knee together are completely torn and a 3rd ligament is half torn. Plus there’s hairline fractures on the back side of the tibia (the big bone in your lower leg). The doc is very impressed! Suggests that we call an orthopedist first thing the next morning to get an appointment.

The problem? It’s now 2 days before Christmas and everything is shutting down like they’ve heard that the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are planning to spend their Christmas vacation in Brisbane. But I explain to one receptionist the extent of Jeff’s injuries and she asks me to fax the MRI report. I do and several hours later she phones to say that the doc can squeeze Jeff in on Friday (Christmas Eve) morning out at their far suburban office.

We are there. He examines Jeff and is also deeply impressed by the extent of his injuries. He also suggests, much to our surprise, that most of these injuries may be old injuries. Yep, that they occurred when Jeff was much younger. After some conversation, Jeff remembers one or two skiing accidents in his early 20s that did a job on his knees. But, being young, he was able to limp his way through them.

We are skeptical that they are all old because how they heck has he been walking for the last 20 years?? Nonetheless, the doc says he can’t really do a proper assessment till more of the swelling goes down and the hairline fractures heal up a bit. Stay off the leg and come back in 2 weeks.

“Staying off the leg” is easy. It still won’t hold any weight. Jeff is 100% dependent on the crutches. Which means yours truly is now the hands and legs for both of us. I am doing all of the:

• Cooking


• Grocery shopping


• Driving


• Dishwashing


• Fetching


• Carrying


• Toting


• Running back and forth for things


• Picking things up


• Packing for vacation


• Loading the car for vacation


• Opening doors


• Closing doors


• Occasionally tying his left shoe


• Running errands for him (beer, for example)


• Attending all his doctor appointments with him

Thank heavens our shower is large and a walk-in. He can take his crutches in with him.

For the first couple of days I was OK with this. It really wasn't his fault. Beer-saturation notwithstanding, he fell. Things tore. It happens.

But now I am.....bitchy, impatient, cranky, sad, angry, depressed, short-tempered, and a tad weepy. I find that I am extremely uncomfortable in the role of spousal caretaker. Frankly, it freaks me out.

The world I grew up in did not respect wifely care-taking. Wives, and their care-taking, were taken for granted and deeply discounted. It was completely expected that wives would take care of husbands and children and parents and in-laws and neighbors and the church and, well, everyone. And they would do it out of "love".

But they would not be taken care of in return by husbands or children or parents or in-laws or the church, etc. That's just not how it worked. Care-taking was their job and their duty and their very reason for existence. Just do it.

Oh yes, we all made good noises about appreciating all they did, generally once a year on Mothers Day. And at their funerals. But I never really saw a husband step up to take care of his wife like I saw wives taking care of husbands. I had never seen it be any different for any married woman I knew. Consequently, marriage looked and felt like a trap to me. Like a life sentence to hard labor.

I made some painful and difficult decision early in my life, including rejecting a very true and earnest marriage proposal that everyone wanted me to accept, to avoid this fate. In fact, in rejecting the marriage proposal, I specifically said "I can't take care of me and you and right now I need to take care of me." It honestly never occurred to me that care-taking could be mutual.

I was a few months shy of 40 when when I got married. It took me that long to figure out how to be in a relationship that was mutual and to find someone I could create that with. Jeff is that kinda guy and I like being married to him. He deserves all the care and love I give him.

But I can't seem to shake all those lessons observed and learned in my early life. Years of therapy and a damned good relationship don't erase that conditioning. It still lives, apparently in my brainstem, right next to the instructions for breathing and blinking.

While Jeff is a wonderful husband, he is still a guy. And like a lot of guys in my experience, he can settle into the status quo quickly and easily, especially if the status quo is particularly quick and easy for him.

Guys are, on the whole, opportunists. I don't mean that as an indictment, only an observation. They are much better than the average woman at accepting a good deal when it comes their way and enjoying it.

So, yeah, I wonder if Jeff isn't taking maybe just a tiny little wee bit advantage of the situation. He is, after all, a guy.

I am also, no suprise to anyone who's met us, the more dominant partner in our relationship. Yes, I am the Alpha Bitch to friends and enemies alike. So, yes, it's also possible that he's even more willing than the average to just let me make the decisions and the plans and take responsibility for what needs to be done.

And, yes, his leg is still completely non-functional. Completely. And he's been on crutches for 10 days and it sucks and he's likely to still be on crutches in a month, which sucks even more. So maybe, in a teeny tiny pique of self-pity, he's a little extra willing to let me do things for him. Maybe.

I don't actually blame him for that. But I am losing my frickin' mind here, not to mention my temper, my cool, my equilibrium, and my sunny good nature (yeah, I've got one of those sometimes too). It's not fair to Jeff but whaddya gonna do?

Full-time care-taking is a shitload of work. It's draining. It's tiresome. Even with heaps of love behind it. And I' m doing it for a competent adult.

I think of my friend Peggy, whose father had a stroke when she was in high school and was wheelchair- and bed-bound for the rest of his life, 15+ years. Peggy's mom took care of her dad and, to hear Peggy talk, never complained, rarely flagged, and loved him to the end.

I think of my many friends home with toddlers all day. Oy vey.

I think of my friend Judi, whose elderly father has Alzheimers. Her stepmother is doing everything in her power to keep him at home as long as she can and she's no spring chicken herself.

How do they do it? I doubt that any of them are gracious, kind, gentle, loving, patient etc. etc. etc. 24/7. It's not humanly possible. Even deep love doesn't make that possible 24/7.

And I do love Jeff. Deeply, profoundly, and with great gratitude for his love. I feel his vulnerability in my own bones and it makes me edgy and unhappy. I get furious with people who don't give him the space and consideration in public that he needs. I seriously considered picking one kid up by the back of his t-shirt and flinging him into a wall this week (but I didn't, you'll be pleased to know) because he almost knocked Jeff over (and I don't think Jeff even noticed it).

But I'm still bitchy and impatient and irritable and snarky and snippy and mean and grumpy as hell. I suspect sainthood is still a very very long way away for me.

Noosa...not lovin' ya

Day 5 in Noosa, center of the Sunshine Coast. Center of beautiful beaches and beautiful bush walks.

Day 5 of non-stop rain in Noosa. Actually, this is Day 7 of the latest onslaught of rain. It’s rained virtually every day in December. “The Wet” is usually in January and February. They are getting one hell of a head start this year!

Queensland is beset with floods. The news every day is about which towns have been evacuated, which roads are closed, how many deaths or rescues the flooding has caused, and how many more days of rain (answer: a lot) we’re going to get.

My plans for this week were all outdoors: beach and bush walks. Jeff's were a little more tame, what with having only one functioning leg and being 100% dependent on crutches. But even his plans included more outdoor time.

But we are resourceful! We are flexible! We decided we'd just have to enjoy Noosa's indoor delights. Museums. Movies. Theatre. Historic exhibits. Cultural oddities (there is the giant pineapple just down the coast, after all).

We checked our Lonely Planet guide to Queensland but they seemed to be under the impression that the only reason to be in this part of the state was for the beaches and bush walks.

Never fear! There’s an Official Noosa Information office a mere 1.5 km away and there's a free bus to take us there!

Confidently approaching one of the very helpful and friendly staff, we asked “So, what are the indoor attractions to Noosa since we're rained in?” His reply?

"There aren't any.”

Yes, even the Official Noosa Information office can't think of anything to do indoors in Noosa. And we’ve searched and we have to agree. This town is all about the beach and the bush (OK, and the shopping but that's just not a big draw for either one of us).

So, we'll just relax in our beach condo, eh? Which has at least ½ dozen leaks in the ceiling (including several directly over the TV watching alcove). And a surfeit of decent lighting, making reading a challenge. The lighting placement looks good but it's more for looks than actual light application. For example, cute barrel lights over the sink. Very little lighting over the food prep area. Plus, several key lights (like the one over the only table in the condo) don't work at all.

At least the kitchen is very well-stocked so cooking (lighting notwithstanding) has been easy. And if we can avoid the drips, we’ve got cable. No functioning radio but we do have cable. Though the internet access is even more punky than in Brisbane.

The historic train ride we found about an hour away has been cancelled due to (you guessed it) rain and flooding. We might do a river ferry tour tomorrow, assuming the river isn't too high. We did find a movie rental place today, which will help.

It all makes me cranky. I really was looking forward to some serious beach time and some serious long walks. We're seriously considered just packing it up and heading back to Brisbane but I suspect we'll stay because, hey, maybe just maybe the sun will come out tomorrow.

Maybe.

Ooooh, a new address?

We spent the weekend looking at 2+ bedroom apartments, houses, and townhouses. It looks like maybe (keeping our fingers tightly crossed) we may have a winner!

It's more upscale living than we get at home, I must admit. What the hell. It's beautifully furnished, has the best kitchen we've seen in a furnished rental (a full-size refrigerator! You have no idea how exciting that is.), two porches, and 3 (count 'em, 3!) bedrooms!

We will be so spectacularly set for houseguests. (hint, hint)

Can You Find Australia On A Map?

I don't know if you've heard but Oprah Is In Australia!!!!!!! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!

OK, is there anyone in the western or southern hemisphere that didn't know that? Given the extensive coverage it's been getting here, it's hard to imagine everyone isn't talking about it.

In fact, the Oprah tour is officially over today. She taped her shows in the Sydney Oprah House (get it? get it?) yesterday.

While I generally am OK with Oprah, the media hysteria here has been sooooo over-the-top. She's been sponsored by Tourism Australia and that's been seen as either (1) a brilliant salvation for Australian tourism or (2) a complete waste of several million taxpayer dollars.

It's funny how Australians think the rest of the world sees them. There are some Australians who talk like there are people in the world who have never even heard of Australia!

C'mon folks, we've all heard of Australia and we could probably even find you on a map (what with you being the biggest honkin' land mass in the southern Pacific waters....). We've all heard of kangaroos and koalas (though we do continue to insist on calling them koala "bears". Really sorry about that.) and platypuses and even your snakes (oh, yes, we've heard about your snakes!). Oh, yeah, and your wines.

We're a little vague on how to get there and what we'd do once we got there (except drink the wine and avoid the snakes).... I hope Oprah gives people a broader sense of what Australia has to offer. Of course, I also hope this blog does the same thing!

Australians are also a tad ... naive? about how things work for the rest of the world. Because any trip from here (except to New Zealand) is 5 or 6 hours minimum, they're used to really long flights. There appear to be Australians who honestly don't understand that huge hunks of the planet can take fantastic vacations and never spend that much time in a plane. Consequently, a lot of us find the idea of spending 14 hours in a plane incomprehensible.

Australians also, honest-to-God, don't seem to really believe the "2 week annual vacation" limitation that a lot of Americans have. I wonder if they think it's an urban myth.

They don't quite appreciate that the strength of their dollar right now (it's at parity with the US dollar) makes Australia less attractive for a lot of people. There's a huge cricket thing going on right now between Britain and Australia (The Ashes) and it's being held here in Australia this year. There was a funny article in the paper recently about how the strength of the Australian dollar means British cricket fans have to drink their beers more slowly in the stadium to make them last! And this is just killing them. (Cricket actually moves more slowly than baseball and a match lasts 5 days, so you imagine that beer consumption is very important.)

It's tough to see your country the way an outsider sees it unless you've spent significant time as an outsider and few of us get that chance. Australians challenges seeing their country as an outsider is not different from the vast number of Americans who have exactly the same challenge about the US. Or the French about France. It's just part of the human challenge.

Still, I hope Oprah's visit does raise the visibility of travelling to Australia. It's a neat place and I'd like more people to get a chance to appreciate it.

Look ... Up

Brisbane has grown exponentially in the last 10-15 years, from what everyone has told me. Major influx of mining money in Queensland. So there's been a significant amount of renovation and new construction.

At the street level, Brisbane (especially in the CBD) looks fairly average. Shops opening up onto sidewalks. Large plate-glass windows. Slick wall surfaces. A lot of newness.

But "old" Brisbane still exists, even in the CBD. Just look up.....

But It Is Safe?

Is your neighborhood safe? How about your car? Your commute? Your bank account? Your Facebook account?

We're looking at apartments here in Brisbane. One of my friends said "well, make sure the neighborhood is safe. That's the most important thing." When people come to visit me in DC, they will sometimes ask if my neighborhood is "safe". I honestly have no idea how to answer that question.

Is safe an absolute value? Where is the line/what is the condition that makes one place "safe" and another place "not safe"? If my address/bank account/FB account/car stays on the "safe" side of the line, does that mean nothing bad or unpleasant or unexpected will ever happen to me?

Of course not.

The fact is, each and every one of us does "safe" and "unsafe" things every day. Some times it makes a difference. Some times, it doesn't make any difference.

I spent 30 days driving across the US by myself. UNSAFE!

I wear my seatbelt every time I get in the car. SAFE

I ride a motorcycle. UNSAFE

I always wear a helmet when I ride a motorcycle. SAFE!

I eat undercooked poultry. UNSAFE!

I always lock the car. SAFE!

I eat raw potatoes. UNSAFE (or so many of my friends have told me)!

I brush my teeth twice a day with an electric toothbrush. SAFE.

I invite total strangers to stay in my home and I lend them a house key while they're there. UNSAFE!!

I back up my data files regularly. SAFE.

I post my birth date and my picture and other biographical information on Facebook. UNSAFE!!

I get an annual physical. SAFE.

I own a house with someone I am not related to. UNSAFE!

I go to church virtually every Sunday. SAFE.

I am going a whole year without making a contribution to my retirement account. UNSAFE!

I claim all my income (including cash tips) on my income tax form. SAFE!

I gave up my 10-year-old massage practice so I could live in Australia for a year. UNSAFE!

I wear sunblock. SAFE!

I didn't have children. UNSAFE!

I got married. SAFE (I think).

I had sex with men I wasn't married to. UNSAFE!

I rarely drive the DC Beltway. SAFE!


Some of the "safe" things I've done haven't worked. Lots of the "unsafe" things I've done have brought me no pain, illness, or misery.

Life is not about safe vs. unsafe. It's about your risk profile. What risk are you willing to accept and what risk are you not willing to take? It's completely individual.

What governs your risk profile? What you saw your parents do. What they told you was safe or dangerous. Your friend's experiences. Your own experiences. The mass media. Your own sense of your ability to recover from whatever happens to you. Your own curiousity. Your own desire for thrills and chills. What you're used to.

Unique to each of us.

So, next time you come to visit, tell me what you are and aren't willing to encounter in my neighborhood and I'll tell you if you'll be comfortable or not. But please don't ask me if it's "safe".

NYC to Brisbane for $1,200!

Yep, Qantas is putting fares on sale. Given their recent problems, they need to do what they can to entice people back on board.

This is a great price and it's from the EAST COAST. Yes, I know, most of you are not carrying a spare $1,200 around in your pocket but I'm putting it out there anyways. :)

A Wee Bit Longer

Jeff's client has asked him to extend. We've talked about it and decided to say "yes". We can't stay more than 364 days (or someone's head in HR explodes I think) so the latest we can be here is late July 2011. The various parties are negotiating but we expect it to go through; the only vital detail is what our leave date will actually be.

A year feels like a good time for me. Writing is going very well but it makes me appreciate how much longer it's going to take to do what I want to do. I'm really happy for the chance to make major progress on my projects.

We're starting to look for a 2-bedroom apartment in a residential neighborhood. Jeff's cousin is making serious noises about coming to visit in February. A sailing buddy is talking about coming some time between February and May. A friend from church is now also contemplating a visit. So we're going to need another bedroom!

We invite you all to at least fantasize about visiting us while we're here. Here's some information to help you populate your fantasies. :)

December/January is the height of airfares between LA (the normal jumping-off point) and Brisbane. Airfares go down from there through to August, the traditional low-price point.

Prices on SideStep.com (my favorite cheap-fare-finder) lists round-trip prices from LA to Brisbane as:

* $1,041 (March)
* $1,030 (April)
* $1,029 (May)
* $1,029 (June)

Add your to/from LA airfare. Keep an eye on things and you'll find deals. Check V Australia, for example.

We know you don't want to spend your whole vacation in Brisbane but we'd like to see you at least a little bit. ;)

The current exchange rate is, in effect, 1:1. The Aussie dollar is at an all-time high but there's no way to know how long it will hold.

If you want to visit Uluru (Ayers Rock), hold off as long as you can. The temps there will be the most tolerable in June - August. It's too freakin' hot otherwise!


OK, let your Aussie fantasies commence!

In the Oz News....

Some reflections on news articles from The Courier Mail, the Brisbane daily.

"The Sunblind State"
by Amanda Watt
QWeekend Magazine
December 4-5, 2010

Queensland is the (official? unofficial?) melanoma capital of the world, yet many Queenslanders still have no idea how deadly melanoma can be. The response is often "oh, so you'll just cut it out, yes?".

Having experienced the sun these last few days in Cairns out on the Great Barrier Reef, it kinda freaks me out. I went on a one-hour guided snorkeling tour yesterday and didn't think to put sunblock on my face and ears till I was out in the water and it was too late.

I got a little panicky. I had my head out of the water a lot so I could hear the tour guide and I could feel the sun beating down on me. I pulled the hood of the snorkeling suit up to protect my ears and zipped it up to my chin for my neck (and just chose not to think about how dippy I looked) but there wasn't anything I could do about my face.

Blessedly, no sunburn today though my face feels like it got a sunburn. Frankly, the intensity of the sun scares me. I don't know how anyone can spend much time in it unprotected. I'm pale but so are quite a lot of Australians with their 'pale English rose' heritage.

They call it the "slip, slop, slap" (the application of sunblock). As one woman, interviewed for this article, said "I never knew that not doing the 'slip, slop, slap' routine could kill you." She is 60 and she is dying. They can't stop the spread of the melanoma. It's reached her brain.


"Shop to Suit"
by Paddy Hintz
The Courier Mail Weekend Edition
December 4-5, 2010

Each state in Australia sets the hours that retail businesses are allowed to operate and it is different in every state. "Under the current system, major Queensland retailers are generally prevented from opening before 8 am or after 9 pm." In some rural areas, there is no shopping -- including grocery shopping -- permitted on Sundays and often not in the evenings.

The major reason cited is to protect workers. The idea is apparently that it would be, what, cruel and unusual to make them work when the standard office worker isn't? There's some kind of special pay allotted for workers who have to work a public holiday and that's over and above things like overtime pay. I read recently that it was feasible for a waiter working a holiday that falls on a weekend to make as much as $70 an hour.

Since Christmas and Boxing Day fall on Saturday and Sunday this year, the "official" holidays are being moved to Monday and Tuesday. A lot of restaurants are saying they're just going to close for the last week of the year because the wage costs are more than they can afford.

There's a hue-and-cry building about this for next Easter as well. Good Friday and Easter Monday are official holidays. In addition, ANZAC Day falls at the same time in 2011. If I'm reading this correctly, many businesses are required to be closed on Good Friday, Easter Sunday, Easter Monday, and ANZAC Day. That's virtually a week of forced closings.

In the US we used to have the "blue laws" (and I think we still do, technically). When I was growing up, few businesses were open on Sunday and it was rare for any retailer to be open on a Sunday. I think that was more about religion than worker protections. I was in my teens when retailers started opening on Sundays -- but only 12-5 -- and we were scandalized and righteously indignant. Not that it stopped us from frequenting those businesses, after we got home from church of course.

Now, Sunday is just another weekend day. If I say I can't do something on Sunday morning because I'll be in church, people have to pause for moment to remember that church still happens.

It feels odd, as an American, to have a government agency telling a business when they can and can't be open. For all I know, this is exactly how it happens in the US and I'm just ignorant of that fact. But if I had a massage practice in a small town, would I not be able to offer sessions in the evening? That would make me bristle, to think that I couldn't make the choices that were best for my practice.

Do workers need that much protection? When I've worked retail, it was a given that I would have to work weekends and holidays some times. It was one of the disadvantages of working retail (and yet another incentive to finish college and get a desk job!). If I wanted a weekend or holiday off, I negotiated with the boss. If I was the person with the least seniority, I didn't necessarily get the time off. Just part of being a working stiff.

The fight for longer hours is being led by major grocery chains Coles and Woolworths. Other retailers are saying they're being put to a disadvantage with online shopping or, if they're close to a state border, with shops just across the line who have more lenient hours.

Here's a summary of trading hour laws by state, which I think is kinda funny.

Queensland: opening hours and restricted days differ between major and minor regional centres and the southeast (Brisbane). Trading restricted on Sundays in most regional areas.

Victoria (home to Melbourne)
ACT (Canberra, the national capital)
Tasmania
Northern Territory (home to Uluru and Alice Springs)

Unrestricted trading except for Good Friday, Easter Sunday, Anzac Day morning and Christmas Day.

Western Australia (which includes Perth): No Sunday trading except in designated tourist areas. All public holidays are restricted trading days. Trading is unrestricted north of the 26th parallel because of its isolation.

South Australia (Adelaide): Restructed trading on Christmas Day, Boxing Day, public holidays and Proclamation Day for non-Adelaide areas. No Sunday trading except for Adelaide CBD.

And you thought it was tough to keep track of liquor laws in the US!

Boss who upgraded airline seats guilty

The former boss of Qantas Link Longreach has been found guilty of improperly giving friends and family upgraded airline seats.

Daniel David Sheehan, 46, ws accused of giving upgrades -- including to the fater of cricketer Ian Healy -- from economy to first or business class to the value of $70,000 between 2007 and 2008.

After a week-long District Court trial, Sheehan was found guilty on 50 counts of dishonestly gaining a benefit and one count of attempted fraud and sentenced to 15 months' jail, wholly suspended for 18 months.

Um, isn't this why we want an airline exec as a friend?? Given how crappy an experience flying is these days, how else are they expected to make friends??

Reality kicks in as our next hope is 2046
by Marco Monteverde & Guy Hand

To say that Australia is "disappointed" about being passed over to host the World Cup in 2022 is a distinct understatement. FIFA, the World Cup governing body, has been rocked by reports of bribes and underhanded dealings for a while now. The fact that they gave the 2022 World Cup to Qatar has more than a few people shaking their heads. Here's a few facts about Qatar to bolster that reaction.

Population: 1.5 million, most of whom are foreign workers
Main cities: Doha and Al-Rayyan
Average temperature in July (when the World Cup will occur): 46C / 115F
Size: 11,425 sq km (1/6 the size of Tasmania)
Illegal: homosexual acts, drinking alcohol outside licensed premises (oh, that's going to put a cramp in World Cup fun!), taking photos of local people (especially women)
New stadiums needed: 9
FIFA world ranking: 115th
World Cup appearances: 0
Lonely Planet description: Doha has earned the unenviable reputation of being 'the dullest place on Earth'.

Qantas sues Rolls as rules trim superjumbo
by Geoff Easdown & Ben Packham

You've probably heard about the problems Qantas has had lately -- exploding engines, emergency landings, that sort of thing. The upshot seems to be that the new engines -- provided by Rolls Royce -- for the Airbus A380 have a little acceleration problem. The oomph needed to get them into the air for long-haul flights (LA to Sydney being a chief example) with a full payload is more than the engines can handle.

To do it safely, Qantas would have to restrict flights from LA to Australia and Asia to a payload of.....80 passengers. So, they've simply closed those routes for now, at a huge financial loss. Lawsuits have been filed, as you can imagine.

On the other hand, with only 80 passengers you'd be sure of getting some legroom and that you'd be able to stretch out and get some sleep.

Teacher in cyber strife
by Tanya Chilcott

A teacher who made an avatar -- a computer alter ego -- to interact inappropriately with a 12-year-old in a virtual world has been deregistered and banned for reapplying for four years. ... "When questioned about this, Mr. Stark was evasive; he consistently claimed he 'did not know' whether his avatar was capable of such behaviour,' the written decision stated.

Bad avatar! Bad! Bad!

I Just Noticed...

I was re-reading some of my earliest blog postings. Back on August 23 I said that everyone asks me if I'm here on holiday almost as soon as I open my mouth and they hear my accent.

I just realized that no one has asked me that in a while, even though today is the official start of summer and the heavy travel season.

I know the harder edge of my American accent has softened. My accent always adapts itself to the environment (ask Jeff what happens when I go back to West Virginia!) though I will never sound like a true Australian. My mouth just can't work that way.

I suspect I look less lost and "vibe" as someone who lives here. I move through the city with the purpose of someone who actually knows where the hell she's going.

I know that inside this has become just the place I live. Not AUSTRALIA!! Just Australia. I guess other people are picking it up from me too.

What Are Brisbane's Must-Sees?

I had a cup of tea with another Couchsurfer on Saturday and she asked what I showed my in-laws while they were here because she has trouble answering the question "so, what should I see while I'm in Brisbane?". I've heard other people struggle with that question too.

You don't come to Brisbane to 'see' things. You come to Brisbane to enjoy the pace, to enjoy the lifestyle.

Take a stroll down the pedestrian Queen Street Mall and stop for a beer at one of the outdoor restaurants while you people-watch.

Take the hop-on/hop-off bus for the (frankly, too fast) tour and get off at the top of Mt. Coot-tha just for the views and the breezes. Have a coffee.

Hop on the river ferries that are part of the mass transit system (!) and ride the length just because it's such a damned pleasant way to get around. Notice how each of the 6 or 7 bridges you go under are of completely different designs. Notice that the major pedestrian bridge has a coffee cart stop in the middle of it. What does that tell you about this town?

Walk the Southbank parklands because they're pretty. Check out the Nepalese Temple left over from the World Expo 88 because it's beautiful. Walk through the flowered promenade and notice how the shape and design of it flows and alters as you go along. Stop at the manmade beach and stick your toes in the sand. Take the ferris wheel ride at night to see the CBD across the river all lit up.

Meander through some large and small parks that are delightful. Roma St. Parklands. ANZAC Square. Cathedral Square. Botanical Gardens.

Walk along the river around Kangaroo Point. Appreciate the raw-ness of the bluffs above you and the water at your feet. Notice how the city has the sense to have shade, water, and places to rest all along the way. Do so. Jump the ferry back across the river and grab a beer or coffee at the Eagle Street Pier and watch the bluffs from the other side and let your internal clock start to match itself up with the slow flow of the river.

Walk the bike path/trail along the river from Teneriffe to Towoonga (or some chunk of it). What a great thing! Just....walk. (And watch out for cyclists.)

Wander over to New Farm park on Sunday afternoon and see who's playing around in the gazebo. Salvation Army band? Brazilian drumming practice group? See if there's anything free on at the Powerhouse.

And, yes, go to Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary and cuddle a koala (they're really soft), feed a kangaroo, handle a snake if you're up to it, and watch sheep dogs herd in that scary "I think they can read my mind!" kinda way. Check out the platypus because you're going to have a hard time spotting one anywhere else. Notice how large, furry, and kinda friendly-looking the Flying Fox bats are. Especially how large. Be entertained by the resident peacock in the food court.

And sure, use Brisbane as your jumping-off point for the Gold or Sunshine Coast, for the islands just off the coast, for the Australia Zoo, for the Glass Mountains, for the Eumundi Market, for the "must sees" of SE Queensland. Why not? They're cool too.

Brisbane is a city in which to rest, relax, to become re-aware of your senses. Sight. Sound. Touch. It's the city you promise to take your body and soul to in payment for slogging through all the "must-sees" of Australia (which are worth it).

It's a quieter slower gift you give yourself. Oooh'ing and awwwww'ing optional.

Understanding How Big We Really Are

We "know" that the United States is a large country and a large economy. We "know" we have a big footprint and a big effect upon the world. It's hard to appreciate just how big "big" is but leaving the country for a while helps.

I joke that "everthing is bigger in America" and in some ways it is literally true. The most innocuous and silly things are bigger. Toilet paper rolls. Marshmallows (and I'm not even talking about those gigantic ones that have come out in the last year). Pizzas.

But how much bigger is America and how big is our effect, especially the effect of our economy?

Think of some of the major countries in the world. France. Canada. Brazil. Sweden. Mexico. Russia. Australia. One of the measurements of a countries economic size/heft is the Gross Domestic Product (GDP). How do the GDPs of these countries stack up against the US?

France's GDP is roughly the equivalent of...California

Canada's GDP? Texas

Brazil = New York State

Sweden = North Carolia

Norway = Minnesota, which is appropriate somehow, given how many Norwegians there are in Minnesota :)

Mexico = Illinois

Russia = New Jersey (yeah, I get the irony in that too)

And my new favorite address, Australia? Ohio.

How about let's look at it from another angle? Even our smallest and least populated states/jurisdictions have more oomph than you might imagine.

Wyoming: Uzbekistan

Rhode Island: Vietnam

Delaware: Romania

West Virginia: Algeria

Mississippi: Chile

And my actual true home, Washington DC: New Zealand. Yes, even little bitty DC, not even 100 square miles, has an GDP equivalent to all of New Zealand.

Even those states that are traditionally considered "the least among us" have the GDP of an entire nation.

That's how big we are. No wonder everyone else looks at us with...awe, fear, respect, caution, and a host of other reactions.


(I'm getting this information from the Strange Maps website.)

Australian English: Less is More 2

Afternoon = avo

Virtually any kind of personal-use truck = ute

Criminal = crim

Environmentalists = enviros

Mashed potatoes = mash

cockroaches = cockies

car registration number = rego

wet suits = wetties

rash guards = rashies

They also drop "the" and "a" often.

In hospital
At weekend

(yet, bring to the boil)

Ch-ch-ch-changes!

I've been out of touch for about 10 days.

I spent 4 days up in Eumundi with Ben working on his, er, our book. After 2+ years of kicking around ideas, playing around with outlines, it clicked. Big time. We have our vision, mission, goal, outline, and a bucket-load of raw material to work with.

It happened almost accidentally -- as many good true things do -- but when we came to a decision I felt it in my very bones. It's the right way to go. I'm very jazzed.

Will it sell a million copies? Probably not. Will it be good? Most likely. Will it be useful and of value to the people who've been asking for it? Yes.

I get a shiver when a writing project comes together with a virtual click like that.

Since we'd been so virtuously productive, we spent the last afternoon hiking in a nearby park, which included the 2nd highest waterfall in Queensland and -- best of all -- a pool (appropriate for swimming!) at the top of the waterfall! Next time I'm taking my swimsuit.

Came back to Brisbane for a long weekend with my in-laws. Ann and Rich arrived from State College PA on Thursday morning. I'm so envious -- they're handling major jet lag much much better than Jeff or I have ever have! Amazing.

I'm also proud of Jeff and I. I think we did a good job of showing them around Brisbane in a way that allows them to see it the way we see it. We also gave them a chance to experience somethings uniquely Australian.

Thursday:

* Lunch on the waterfront
(naps)
* Dinner at a wine bar near the hotel

Friday:

* Bus tour through Brisbane
* Views over the city to the bay from the top of Mt. Coot-tha
* Stroll to the manmade beach and lunch on the Southbank
* Ferry up the river
(naps)
* Kangaroo steak dinner at our place

Saturday

* Day at the Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary, featuring koalas, sheepherding and sheep shearing demos, raptors, peacocks, goannas, platypuses, Tasmanian Devils, and exotic birds
(naps)
* Dinner on Queen Street Mall

And, yes, if you come to Brisbane for a few days, you'll probably get the same itinerary.

I'm spending time paying attention to how everything about this sojourn / sabbatical / boondoggle in Australia is changing me. I even spent an hour on the phone with my favorite US therapist today to talk through it.

One of the things this time is providing is distance, literally and metaphorically. I have distance from all my personal and professional relationships, from my DC-based habits, from my infrastructure, from everything except Jeff. With distance comes new perspective.

There are things we all adapt to, day by day. Some things are good to adapt to, some are merely...necessary. I'm gaining perspective on these things.

In our day-to-day lives, we end up inhabiting certain roles in our lives. Maybe we're The Leader. Maybe we're the Peace Maker. Maybe we're the Organizational Wienie. Maybe we're The Enforcer. These roles have probably grown out of some true aspect of our personalities but it can be tough to break out of them even when you may have grown out of them.

But here only Jeff has any pre-existing expectations of me. There is freedom to that and I find myself metaphorically relaxing. I find I am interacting with all these new people in slightly different ways than I usually do.

Freedom. Changes. Reflection. It's gonna be that kinda time.

Giving DC Humidity A Run For Its Money

Virtually every Brisbanite I've talked to who's found out I'll be here all summer has warned me about the weather. "Oh, it's so hot! But it's not just the heat. It's reeeally humid" they'll exclaim.

Then I tell them about the average temps and humidity levels in DC in August. Their response is usually some variation on "oh, well then, you'll be fine."

The difference, I suspect, is that the humidity starts a lot earlier here and lasts longer. November here should be the equivalent of May in DC. But the humidity the last couple of days has been a lot closer to July. The temps have hovered right around 80 with lovely light breezes but I'm sweating like....well, let's just say "like something very unpleasant" and leave it at that, shall we?

After my 2.5 hour walk on Wednesday, my massage therapist offered me a bathtowel to dry myself off before the session. I was quite grateful!

Today I went over to Mt. Coot-tha, popular for the fabulous views over Brisbane and out to Moreton Bay as well as a trail down the mountain's eucalyptus forest.

I packed carefully for the afternoon outing.


* Camelback with 72 oz of water (plus a few ice cubes thrown in for fun)
* Bandana to keep sweat from washing out my contacts.
* Contact lenses so I could wear sunglasses
* Jeff's hat with wide brim and mesh crown
* Sunblock
* Hand towel
* Walking guide
* lip balm

Plus the usual wallet, camera, reading glasses (see: contact lenses, above). Before I left, I slathered myself with sunblock and bug spray. Had my hiking boots all laced up. I was ready.

I got some funny looks walking through the CBD to the bus stop. The fashion style downtown is more miniskirts, gauzy tops, and high heels for the ladies. Screw it, I was going to Mt. Coot-tha!

The views at the top were as wonderful as I'd been led to expect. Even with a little bit of haze, I could see all the way out to the bay and the islands of the bay. Nice breeze on top of the mountain.

Couple of brazen wild turkeys strutting around (they apparently have gotten the memo that they're protected and are taking full advantage of it).

While walking along the road to the trailhead, I came across a 3-foot snake in my path. Many of you will be pleased to know that:

* I did not scream
* I did not beat it to death
* I did not freak out and run higgledy-piggledy back the way I came

I did, however, move to the other side of the road.

Found the trailhead and plunged into the coolness of the forest.

It's not a long trail. Maybe 4 km. And it's all downhill, even steeply downhill (so I was darned glad I'd started at the top!). There was lots of shade and regular pleasant breezes.

And I had to stop after about 20 minutes, completely wipe myself down, and re-apply sunscreen. There's no way I hadn't sweated all of it off. The people I passed, huffing and puffing uphill, weren't even really dressed for hiking -- they were dressed more like the people downtown and carried, maybe, a single water bottle -- so I have no idea how they did it.

I had a great time. I think there's only the one trail there, which is a shame, but I'd love to go back for the sunset dinner at the restaurant. Jeff's parents arrive on Thursday and I hope to take them up there on Friday.

But, yeah, the hand towel and sunblock are going on all my long walks this summer.

A More Relaxed Town

I'm finding Brisbane to be a city that relaxes better than DC does. It may just be me. I can relax more because I'm not working in the traditional sense. My schedule is quite loose.

But it feels like Brisbane is happier to let go and quicker to chill out somehow. I had tea with a local woman on Sunday and she said the same thing. This is a town that lives for warm weather, beaches, and good times.

Heck, the city built their own beach on the riverfront! These are a people who live to be outdoors and chillin'.

Saturday dawned stunningly beautiful here. It was clearly going to be a warm day -- up near 80 -- and suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuny. Bright blue skies. You know what I'm talking about.

We'd discovered an affordable movie theater on the south bank (only $8.50, which is about half what a ticket normally costs). It's 2nd run movies but at the rate we get to movies, that's just fine. Neither of us had seen "Despicable Me" and that sounded just about our speed so we headed out about 9:30 anm to make the 10:15 am showing.

Jeff's not a big walker and it's maybe 20-30 minutes to walk so we actually took the ferry straight across the river. If you draw a straight line from our apartment to the theater, the only thing in your way is the river. We were on the ferry for a whopping, oh, 30 seconds but it did save about 20 minutes of walking.

When we came out of the movie, it was noon and the south bank parkland was busy. Lots of people having picnics, cooking out, throwing frisbees, or just strolling along. It really is a sweet part of downtown Brisbane.

These people seem to have a strong and natural urge to kick back. Gotta like that.

Australian English: Less is More?

The Aussies love to shorten words.

Breakfast is brekkie.

Poker/slot machines are pokies.

Mosquitos are mozzies.

Motorcyclists are bikies (though I really don't encourage trying that one with, say, your local Hell's Angels chapter...)

Moustaches are mo's. (Seriously, could I make this up??) And in case you didn't know, November is Movember . Movemeber is an international "moustache growing charity event held during November each year that raises funds and awareness for men's health." I admire that but there are some blokes out there (yes, I'm talking about you, Charlie Pickering on the 7PM Project, cutie though you are) who just look cheesy in their mo. But points to you for trying! (But you will be shaving it off on December 1, yes?)

Duck Day

The last few days have been the epitome of late spring / early summer. Sunny and in the 70s. Light breezes. High fluffy clouds. Clear blue skies. Yesterday was so perfect -- you could just smell impending summer on the air -- that I found myself reminiscing about vacations in Rincon, Puerto Rico.

Today (and tomorrow it looks like) is gray, windy, and damp. Very damp. My plans to go hiking on Mt. Coot-tha? Shelved. New plan? Experimenting with a new spaghetti sauce recipe. While the kitchen here in Brisbane makes me really appreciate my kitchen in DC (where's my cast iron skillet? My soup pot? My wham-wham food chopper?? My GEORGE FOREMAN GRILL for the love of God????), it's more than adequate to spaghetti sauce and I'm grateful it works as well as it does.

Outside is for ducks today. Inside is for cookin'!

The View From Here

So, the "mid-term" elections are over. Now comes the wailing and gnashing of teeth (your side lost too many elections) or the gloating and self-congratulation (your side won more elections).

I may piss some people off but....I'm really glad I'm half-way around the world and don't have to be in the middle of it. Not the election, the reaction to the election.

We have become, if Facebook is any indication, an ugly people around politics. The hate and invective directed towards the "other" shocks me, especially from people I know who are otherwise devoted to peace and reason.

"Those" people over there? The ones who voted for the candidates you secretly suspect are Satan's spawn? They are your neighbors (figuratively, literally, and spiritually). They're desperately trying to figure out what's best for their community, their country, and their lives.

Just like you.

They did what they thought was best.

Just like you.

They vote rampant self-interest sometimes.

Just like you.

But daaaaaaaaamn it feels so good to get agitated and over-excited that we can't hardly resist. Which is why I'm glad I'm not there and why I won't even look at Facebook for the next 2 or 3 days.

And A Good Time Was Had By All

I've been feeling the strains of a lack of a social life pretty sharply the last few weeks. I've been trying to make contact with social groups, recreational groups, volunteer groups without much luck.

I decided to dip into a group I'm already a part of, though usually from DC, the CouchSurfing community. This is an international organization of people who love to travel. They provide free hospitality / lodging to each other and maintain a loose but active network of people around the world.

We've hosted a ton of people in DC and have been hosted a few times on our travels. The biggest challenge is that the group skews heavily to the 20-somethings, which means some segment of the group, honestly, all about the party-party-party-hookup. Blessedly, an even larger segment really is about travelling and meeting people of whatever age.

I've dropped an e-mail to a few people locally to see if they'd be willing to meet for coffee and I'm getting some positive responses. Also last night, a CSer in town for a few months organized a group to go see a documentary over at the University of Queensland, "The Way of Life".

We ended up being 6: 3 Americans, 2 Aussies who've lived in the States for the last 10 years, and a German. The funniest part was that they were all sailors except me and the German (in fact, those 4 sailors sailed to Australia and met in a marina)....and Jeff was at a sailing club meeting!

Beautiful doco. It made me reflect on the "modern" urban lifestyle I live, on parenting, on marriage, on a lot of things. I respect the people who filmed it and the family being filmed.

Afterwards, we eventually worked our way over to Chinatown for a late dinner and a lot of lively conversation. I had the most active and interesting conversation with the 20-year-old Aussie moving back to Brisbane after 10 years in Minnesota and Maryland.

Which reminds me that I really need to quit being so self-conscious about age. :)

I'm feeling....just happier this morning because I went out and I had fun with new people and I think I'm actually developing a more robust social life here in Brisbane. It makes a difference and I'm grateful to Chris (the woman who organized the outing) and to Couchsurfing for providing a venue to meet cool people.

If You Love Asian Food....

...Brisbane is your kinda town. I've taken to eating a lot of noodles and sushi. Why? Because there are tons and tons of Asian eateries in the downtown area, most of them quick carry-out or lunch/snack places.

To give you an idea of just how omnipresent they are, I carried the camera with me to the library today, a 3.5 block walk. These are the places I passed along the way.

The last pic is a hallway that has about 8 more Asian eateries.

And Brisbane still has a Chinatown! It's about 2 km away.