But It Is Safe?

Is your neighborhood safe? How about your car? Your commute? Your bank account? Your Facebook account?

We're looking at apartments here in Brisbane. One of my friends said "well, make sure the neighborhood is safe. That's the most important thing." When people come to visit me in DC, they will sometimes ask if my neighborhood is "safe". I honestly have no idea how to answer that question.

Is safe an absolute value? Where is the line/what is the condition that makes one place "safe" and another place "not safe"? If my address/bank account/FB account/car stays on the "safe" side of the line, does that mean nothing bad or unpleasant or unexpected will ever happen to me?

Of course not.

The fact is, each and every one of us does "safe" and "unsafe" things every day. Some times it makes a difference. Some times, it doesn't make any difference.

I spent 30 days driving across the US by myself. UNSAFE!

I wear my seatbelt every time I get in the car. SAFE

I ride a motorcycle. UNSAFE

I always wear a helmet when I ride a motorcycle. SAFE!

I eat undercooked poultry. UNSAFE!

I always lock the car. SAFE!

I eat raw potatoes. UNSAFE (or so many of my friends have told me)!

I brush my teeth twice a day with an electric toothbrush. SAFE.

I invite total strangers to stay in my home and I lend them a house key while they're there. UNSAFE!!

I back up my data files regularly. SAFE.

I post my birth date and my picture and other biographical information on Facebook. UNSAFE!!

I get an annual physical. SAFE.

I own a house with someone I am not related to. UNSAFE!

I go to church virtually every Sunday. SAFE.

I am going a whole year without making a contribution to my retirement account. UNSAFE!

I claim all my income (including cash tips) on my income tax form. SAFE!

I gave up my 10-year-old massage practice so I could live in Australia for a year. UNSAFE!

I wear sunblock. SAFE!

I didn't have children. UNSAFE!

I got married. SAFE (I think).

I had sex with men I wasn't married to. UNSAFE!

I rarely drive the DC Beltway. SAFE!


Some of the "safe" things I've done haven't worked. Lots of the "unsafe" things I've done have brought me no pain, illness, or misery.

Life is not about safe vs. unsafe. It's about your risk profile. What risk are you willing to accept and what risk are you not willing to take? It's completely individual.

What governs your risk profile? What you saw your parents do. What they told you was safe or dangerous. Your friend's experiences. Your own experiences. The mass media. Your own sense of your ability to recover from whatever happens to you. Your own curiousity. Your own desire for thrills and chills. What you're used to.

Unique to each of us.

So, next time you come to visit, tell me what you are and aren't willing to encounter in my neighborhood and I'll tell you if you'll be comfortable or not. But please don't ask me if it's "safe".